Lucy Locke (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mightbeconcussed) wrote2010-06-15 04:08 pm
mightbeconcussed) wrote2010-06-15 04:08 pm
Entry tags:
★ 21 [Text // Voice] She's the crackle of the static, she's the curses, she's the prayers Mor
[Private to the Deities || Unhackable via Harry's filters]
[TEXT]
So I know I act like this ditsy blonde idiot girl who's lived in a glass bubble her whole life. And to an extent it's true. The bubble part—okay if I'm honest the ditsy part too and the blonde is a duh because of course it's natural.
Getting back on track.
Pain is having your insides scraped out while you stare up at an acoustic ceiling and try to drown that sound out. There isn't enough valium in the world. Pain is knowing they're taking away parts of you and putting them in a biohazard bag but not caring because they're taking away parts of him too and if you could cut out all the parts of you that have been hurt by him your heart would be the first to go.
Because you can't live without your heart, pain is locking it up behind a wall of one night stands, alcohol and smiles that are too bright, too wide, too fake.
Pain is getting so used to being that girl that you don't know how to do anything else. It's meeting that guy that says the right things, does the right things and then lying awake at night taking bets on how long it'll be until he crushes you just because he can. It's wondering if you should just pack up and leave right now because this is a mistake. It has to be a mistake because pain is never considering that it might be anything else.
Pain is also once-a-month PMS, and cute new shoes that are a half size too small but they were on clearance so you bought them anyway but that's not really relevant to the whole thing.
[/private]
[VOICE]
I think the deities want us to be all emo all the time. Or maybe they're like the creepers who get their rocks off by hurting other people. Emotionally instead of physically but a lot of the curses do end in physical pain so maybe both ways.
ANYWAY that's enough talk about pain.
Harry's back which means I've been all big D grin girl and I have a new job working at Akindo. I love it but I have the feeling most of my paycheck will end up there instead of with me. At least I'll look good.
Now I'm going to walk the dog and get some coffee. No emo for me.
[TEXT]
So I know I act like this ditsy blonde idiot girl who's lived in a glass bubble her whole life. And to an extent it's true. The bubble part—okay if I'm honest the ditsy part too and the blonde is a duh because of course it's natural.
Getting back on track.
Pain is having your insides scraped out while you stare up at an acoustic ceiling and try to drown that sound out. There isn't enough valium in the world. Pain is knowing they're taking away parts of you and putting them in a biohazard bag but not caring because they're taking away parts of him too and if you could cut out all the parts of you that have been hurt by him your heart would be the first to go.
Because you can't live without your heart, pain is locking it up behind a wall of one night stands, alcohol and smiles that are too bright, too wide, too fake.
Pain is getting so used to being that girl that you don't know how to do anything else. It's meeting that guy that says the right things, does the right things and then lying awake at night taking bets on how long it'll be until he crushes you just because he can. It's wondering if you should just pack up and leave right now because this is a mistake. It has to be a mistake because pain is never considering that it might be anything else.
Pain is also once-a-month PMS, and cute new shoes that are a half size too small but they were on clearance so you bought them anyway but that's not really relevant to the whole thing.
[/private]
[VOICE]
I think the deities want us to be all emo all the time. Or maybe they're like the creepers who get their rocks off by hurting other people. Emotionally instead of physically but a lot of the curses do end in physical pain so maybe both ways.
ANYWAY that's enough talk about pain.
Harry's back which means I've been all big D grin girl and I have a new job working at Akindo. I love it but I have the feeling most of my paycheck will end up there instead of with me. At least I'll look good.
Now I'm going to walk the dog and get some coffee. No emo for me.