mightbeconcussed | ★ 07 [voice] There's the Southern way and then there's the wrong way

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★ 07 [voice] There's the Southern way and then there's the wrong way

Okay. So. After extensive research...okay a couple of clubs and a few test runs--I've discovered that no one here knows the proper way to sing a song. Lucky I'm here. I KNOW! RIGHT?

Anyway, take a look at this, pay particular attention starting around .58 and let's all learn the right way to sing Sweet Home Alabama

Make a Southern girl happy?

Our next lesson will be over the right kind of hat. Houndstooth Fedora? Only way to go.

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[Alright, he can't resist and click, on it goes. Have a posh accent drifting into a Northern one, Lucy.]

There's not much point in inside voices. Although people do sometimes worry that you're mocking them, in which case you start mocking them.

Hello, Lucy.

[Lucy turns her video on as well and then proceeds to do an 'oh yay it's your birthday' dance before turning her attention to Harry again]

Okay so yes. Agreed and I never mock. I'm just honest and franka nd people take offense to being told 'yes your butt does look fat in that dress'.

[Now she's doing the overly dramatic, swooning, one hand to her chest, the other back of her hand to her forehead, Southern belle thing. Sugar sweet, thick Alabama accent? Check check]

Hello, Harry. It's a pleasure to see you.

Edited 2010-03-11 04:56 (UTC)

Very nice to see you too. And if they ask, and their "butt" is fat, they shouldn't expect a different answer. [finger quotations...]

OH MY GOD!! This is my point EXACTLY

[She's gesturing very emphatically, hands in the air, pointing at the video screen. It's possible she had a 32oz Espresso at work today plus sugar. Forget the milk. Milk is for pussies]

And SERIOUSLY if your butt is that big? You KNOW it. You just want someone to tell you it's not and in THAT case you should say 'Tell me my butt doesn't look fat". I mean when I need a self esteem booster I flat out tell people 'Tell me I'm pretty'. I don't ASK 'Does this lipgloss make me look pretty' because THAT leaves room for opinion and if I want your opinion I'll ask for it! If I don't then I'm going to TELL you what I want you to TELL me.

Edited 2010-03-11 05:40 (UTC)

[It's almost kind of endearing.]

That's a very refreshing attitude.

Mostly it's an attitude that gets me dirty looks but it's not like I can help it. There's no filter between my mouth and my brain. If I think it, I say it. I mean my thoughts don't literally spew out of my mouth. That would be confusing and disconnected and I'm pretty sure I have ADD. I say most complete thoughts. At least the complete and almost complete thoughts.

Oh, but that's good. It means that no-one has to try and read your mind. Straightforward.

I'm pretty sure I'd break a mind reader's brain. Okay for example? My brain at the moment:

Totally broken. I should get some new sho--oh yummy accent should make him talk--new shoes just in case--and a latte-extra sho--cute guy over there did I leave my lipgloss--no it's in my bag wonder if they've got this kind here because it's the perfect non sticky but you know there's not a lot of wind here sweet potato pie and chicken fried steak want some now. Next stop grocery store--look yummy accent and then new shoes. Maybe a dress but jeans might be more--no definitely skirt with the heels.

See? Broken telepath.

Everyone's mind is like that to a certain extent...I'd imagine. Not to mention you're only talking about the most obvious layer, though you seem to have combined a lot of them into one layer, really. It would be a poor telepath who ended up broken.

What is chicken fried steak? Oh! Oh! And grits! What are they? I've always wanted to know and no-one ever tells me.

I'm not sure if thick layers are a good thing or not.

Oh! OH! I'll make grits and chicken fried steak and sweet potato pie. You can come eat them. Chicken fried steak is a steak you batter and fry the same way you fry chicken then you cover it all in gravy and viola chicken fried steak. Grits are ground corn. Kind of like cream of wheat but obviously not wheat. You melt cheese and butter in them and they are yummy.

[Well Lucy's Mom always did say she'd invite an ax murder in some day...]

[The Master's face? Stunned. This is a man thinking about this list of food. And very much approving. Apparently, the Southern diet is perfect for falling-apart Time Lords. He has to swallow before speaking.] That all sounds very good, Lucy. How very kind of you to extend an invitation.

[He gets a beaming Lucy in return]

You're welcome! I've been homesick lately anyway and I'm actually a really good cook but cooking for yourself is sort of a downer so most of the time I just eat whatever and have mint juleps but I like cooking for people so you're really doing me a favor.

When's good for you? We'll have mashed potatoes with cream gravy too and maybe cream corn or green bean casserole. Do you eat a lot? I could make both.

[The Master looks like he's thinking about it, but really, he's typing furiously, making the video feed completely unhackable. He can't let himself get tracked down now...]

I do have quite an appetite...I'm free nearly always. Perhaps next week would be best?

I'll make lots then. Sweet cornbread too.

Next week is good. Maybe Tuesday?

[HAPPY Master.] Yes please. When shall I arrive?

[Whaddya know! HAPPY Lucy too] 6:00. You can talk to me while I finish everything up.

Alright. Then I'll see you then. [Soooooooob he is such a hobo, maybe he'll even be arrested next week, who knows what will happen, this dinner will probably end up gettin postponed, though.]

Okay. I'm excited.

[S'okay. She'll pout at him, be disappointed and then reschedule!]

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★ 07 [voice] There's the Southern way and then there's the wrong way

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Re: [Video] I feel like I should apologize for her

[Video] Pssh, apologize? For her? You realise THE MASTER is talking to her, yes?

Re: [Video]Good point! She feels better about herself ;)

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