★ 67 Voice;

[mightbeconcussed]

[Filter to Cas]

Are you normal again? Do you have any weed left over?

[/end filter]

I'm officially revoking my City is awesome card. I wanna go home.

[Filtered to Jill]

Can we do ice cream and Resident Evil movies tonight?

[/end filter]

Comments

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

[She kind of rolls her eyes at him.]

I talked to Hanna. I bet it sucked. He was crazy about you and you had romantic dinners.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

B-but I was cursed! I'm not even gay. And he's like -- was -- my second-best friend and now everything's all screwed up!

[He ducks his head and swipes his fingers through his hair.]

'Pparently with you, too.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

I know all of that.

[Lucy sighs because she's honestly not sure what to tell Neil at this point.]

It just hurt a lot and I know it's not your fault. I get that.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's... I dunno. The City does stuff that sucks. 'S not like that's never happened before.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

I just never cared before.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

So why d'you care now?

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

[Death glare. You are getting it right now, Neil.]

Because you made me fall in love with you and now you're a stupid face boy that I can't hate because it's a stupid head City and it gave you a stupid everything curse and if it were home and not the City I'd have a broken heart but at least I'd know how to deal with it.

[Hopefully the words he notices here are 'in love with you' and not her gratuitous use of the word stupid.]

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

[...Yeah, that's totally what he noticed.]

Wait, I made...? What? You... I mean, d'you... really?

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

Yes and have we completely bypassed the fact that you're a poop face?

[Yup she's pretty much defensive right now and she's going to go into push away mode for the moment anyway.]

Also I was hurt and angry and so I stayed the weekend with Cas. He was human. We got stoned and had sex and you can not be mad because if you can have sex weekends so can I.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

Okay, I kinda think I can! Unless you totally didn't even choose to do that and it was just a curse and I -- augh!

[he buries his face in his hands briefly.]

What'd I even do wrong?

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

You didn't do anything wrong but that doesn't leave me hurting any less.

Also, no you can't and do you want me to lie to you or tell you the truth. Also, what was I supposed to do? I found out from your husband that my boyfriend was having a romantic dinner with him! That is so far beyond ice cream and Resident Evil movies that there aren't guidelines for that. Actually they probably are and it involves shooting you with Daddy's gun which I'd like credit for not doing right now.

Still realizing it's like a blameless heartbreak. Still broken. Also, it was sex. I wasn't in love with anyone. Priorities. Which would you rather deal with?

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

[So many words. He opens his mouth to say something about five times and changes his mind.]

I just... I dunno. [He sighs, his breath shaking just a little.] I love you too, okay? I just don't even know what you want me to do.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

I don't know either. I would have sent a list of things to do to make this up to Lucy along with flowers if I knew.

[She's quiet a moment, smashing crumbs from a red velvet cup cake into the coffee table. Not that he can see that because she is absolutely not turning on the video. No one needs to see her looking this way. Particularly not Neil.]

You don't still love him and you haven't switched from Team Lucy to Team Anyone Else in the City. That's a start. You could hate me if you wanted. There are guidelines for that. Not that--I don't want that. It's just--you realize you're asking the girl that doesn't do commitment how to fix this? It's like asking a baker to fix a boat.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

Don't think I could hate you even if I wanted to. And like, 's not a boat. You're the one who's upset so I just wanna... I mean, if you hate the City and wanna leave it ruins our club. Can't have a club with just one member.

[He thinks maybe if he jokes and makes things light, maybe it'll be easier.]

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

[He's going in a good direction with the joking and light. It's how Lucy deals with life in general.]

I don't hate the City. I hate that it does this to us.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

Yeah?

Yeah, me too.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

I'm just...really--confused. I guess. I didn't think I was ever going to have to deal with this again. And I know it's not--I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or...whatever. I know you weren't exactly in control of the situation.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

So you don't like totally hate me now?

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

[There's a very long sigh.]

No. I never hated you. That's why there's even a conversation about this.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

Oh. Good.

I mean, not good in general, just good that you don't... yeah.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

[Lucy hesitates then speaks, all the words a rush, like she'll chicken out if she doesn't get them out.]

Doyouwanttocomeoverhere?

[And then she pauses.] In about half an hour. I have to shower. I've sort of been pretending homeless person Lucy for the last couple of days.

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

Se--

['Seriously?' That almost is, but he cuts himself off, afraid she'll change her mind.]

Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

[He's a very smart boy sometimes][She flips off the device and then makes a mad rush for the shower and the whole becoming presentable thing.]

[illgrowoutofit.livejournal.com]

[Being a little overly eager, Neil arrives 28 minutes later, and paces in front of the door for the remaining two before knocking.]

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

[She doesn't mind the overeager. It's much better than the alternative. She answers the door after a few seconds, wet hair pulled back into a tight bun and very little makeup on. She's wearing a pair of low riding sweat pants and a tank top. It's probably the most casual he's seen her. She opens the door a bit, standing in the space so that he can't walk through for just a second's hesitation before she takes the step back, opening the door wider and letting him come in.]