Lucy Locke (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mightbeconcussed) wrote2007-08-29 12:23 pm
mightbeconcussed) wrote2007-08-29 12:23 pm
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thetenspot
Ten worst dates
1. January 26, 1983. Coach Paul ‘Bear’ Bryant died on this date. I wasn’t even born yet but the man is a legend in Alabama Football. His death was tragic. He was 69 and he’d just retired from coaching at Alabama 28 days prior. No he wasn’t ill. It was a heart attack. He won his last game, a bowl game against Illinois.
2. About two months ago I went out on this date with this surfer that Jill and I watch every morning. He was so very, very pretty. He apparently got in line for the pretty but when God was handing out brains and personailities, he was looking in the mirror. It was awful. Awful, awful, awful. We had nothing to talk about. He said dude every other sentence. I finally stood up in the middle of the restaurant and asked him if I looked like a dude. I still watch him surf in the morning because the pretty but when he asks me to go out again, I quickly divert the conversation to the waves. He’s easily distracted and he forgets all about asking me out.
3. The year 2000, yes the whole year. Alabama was put on probation for five years, yes five years so see I could claim that from 2000-2005 was the worst dates ever. I’m being overly fair here…anyway, an assistant coach claimed that Alabama paid a high school coach to encourage a player to sign with Alabama. It wasn’t fair and I don’t think it ever happened. The silent witness finally came out and it was Tennessee’s head coach, one of our biggest rivals. Fishy much? Yeah I think so.
4. October 1982 (again not born, still remains a horrible date) Tennessee broke Alabama’s 12 year winning streak against them and defeated them in their game against each other.
5. 1964. We lost the Orange bowl with the Bear coaching.
6. 1973 We lost the Sugar bowl with the Bear again
7. That date I went on with Tyler Martin in high school. Oh. My. God. He made Pretty Boy up there (no I don’t remember his name) look like best night ever. He was crass and rude and I had to pepper spray his ass because apparently he decided buying me dinner and a movie included back seat fun. Please, if I were that easy (and I’m not) it’d have to be a lot more expensive than McDonalds and a dollar movie.
8. One of my dad’s co-workers sons. It wasn’t his fault he was boring but he was! Conversationally, I don’t require a lot. I’m pretty good just talking to myself but reaction is nice. Talking about something besides the chess club is nice. I felt sorry for the guy but I feigned a headache and made him take me home early. And honestly, the headache wasn’t much of a feign. It just…didn’t keep me in for the rest of the night. I went to a party with Jill after Boring Dude dropped me off.
9. The first weekend at Berkeley. Jill and I got invited to a frat party. It was fun. It was great. I spent the biggest part of the night puking in the toilet in a frat house. Have you ever seen a toilet that multiple guys share? So gross. If I’d caught something and died I wouldn’t have been surprised. Not to mention the floor wasn’t much better and I was left lying there by my ‘date’. Frat boys suck. I’d like to say I never got that drunk again but I did. I just made someone take me home to puke. At least my floor there is shiny, clean, relatively disinfected and I won’t catch a fatal virus from the toilet.
10. The date with Bastard Boy. My freshman year of college. He took me to a rave. It was fun until he actually tried to roofie me! Like I was born yesterday. Whatever. Push a drink that hard on me when I’ve got my own safe drink that I went and watched the bartender pour and there’s something wrong with the drink being pushed. I told him I was going to the bathroom and left. I called the cops before I got home though and told them where the rave was. Bastard Boy was busted with roofies. He so deserved it.
1. January 26, 1983. Coach Paul ‘Bear’ Bryant died on this date. I wasn’t even born yet but the man is a legend in Alabama Football. His death was tragic. He was 69 and he’d just retired from coaching at Alabama 28 days prior. No he wasn’t ill. It was a heart attack. He won his last game, a bowl game against Illinois.
2. About two months ago I went out on this date with this surfer that Jill and I watch every morning. He was so very, very pretty. He apparently got in line for the pretty but when God was handing out brains and personailities, he was looking in the mirror. It was awful. Awful, awful, awful. We had nothing to talk about. He said dude every other sentence. I finally stood up in the middle of the restaurant and asked him if I looked like a dude. I still watch him surf in the morning because the pretty but when he asks me to go out again, I quickly divert the conversation to the waves. He’s easily distracted and he forgets all about asking me out.
3. The year 2000, yes the whole year. Alabama was put on probation for five years, yes five years so see I could claim that from 2000-2005 was the worst dates ever. I’m being overly fair here…anyway, an assistant coach claimed that Alabama paid a high school coach to encourage a player to sign with Alabama. It wasn’t fair and I don’t think it ever happened. The silent witness finally came out and it was Tennessee’s head coach, one of our biggest rivals. Fishy much? Yeah I think so.
4. October 1982 (again not born, still remains a horrible date) Tennessee broke Alabama’s 12 year winning streak against them and defeated them in their game against each other.
5. 1964. We lost the Orange bowl with the Bear coaching.
6. 1973 We lost the Sugar bowl with the Bear again
7. That date I went on with Tyler Martin in high school. Oh. My. God. He made Pretty Boy up there (no I don’t remember his name) look like best night ever. He was crass and rude and I had to pepper spray his ass because apparently he decided buying me dinner and a movie included back seat fun. Please, if I were that easy (and I’m not) it’d have to be a lot more expensive than McDonalds and a dollar movie.
8. One of my dad’s co-workers sons. It wasn’t his fault he was boring but he was! Conversationally, I don’t require a lot. I’m pretty good just talking to myself but reaction is nice. Talking about something besides the chess club is nice. I felt sorry for the guy but I feigned a headache and made him take me home early. And honestly, the headache wasn’t much of a feign. It just…didn’t keep me in for the rest of the night. I went to a party with Jill after Boring Dude dropped me off.
9. The first weekend at Berkeley. Jill and I got invited to a frat party. It was fun. It was great. I spent the biggest part of the night puking in the toilet in a frat house. Have you ever seen a toilet that multiple guys share? So gross. If I’d caught something and died I wouldn’t have been surprised. Not to mention the floor wasn’t much better and I was left lying there by my ‘date’. Frat boys suck. I’d like to say I never got that drunk again but I did. I just made someone take me home to puke. At least my floor there is shiny, clean, relatively disinfected and I won’t catch a fatal virus from the toilet.
10. The date with Bastard Boy. My freshman year of college. He took me to a rave. It was fun until he actually tried to roofie me! Like I was born yesterday. Whatever. Push a drink that hard on me when I’ve got my own safe drink that I went and watched the bartender pour and there’s something wrong with the drink being pushed. I told him I was going to the bathroom and left. I called the cops before I got home though and told them where the rave was. Bastard Boy was busted with roofies. He so deserved it.