mightbeconcussed: (facepalm)
Boyfriend of the week : John Parker Wilson, the quarterback for Alabama University’s Football team. Note from the mun: I try to discourage her from real people but she doesn’t listen to me so I’m just trying not to offend

He’s amazing, my baby. He can drill it in and make it look so pretty you wanna cry. The problem is, you apply a little pressure and he cracks like an egg. Once that happens he couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. Everyone knows this and they use it against us. I’m pretty sure it’s a strategy in some places and what makes it worse is our backup is for crap so once my baby is cracked trying to get him back together is almost impossible. If I see one more person on the sidelines yelling at him, I might have to pummel someone to death because yelling is only gonna make it worse. You have to hold his hand, rub his back in little circles, maybe pat his butt a little and tell him how amazing he is. Positive reinforcement, yo!

I’m not saying I don’t want to strangle him. Especially when we’re up and it’s the fourth quarter. I want to yell as much as anyone but you’ve gotta have patience. And I will enforce that patience in my section any way possible. I punched a guy in the face for yelling at my baby last season and sooooo what if I broke my hand doing it. It was the Iron Bowl, JP was choking and he needed a little moral support. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that we not yell at him and tell him he’s sucking. Guess what, Baby is pretty smart along with looking pretty and being able to throw a tight spiral that makes my knees weak. He knows he’s sucking he also needs to know that we’re gonna love him even when he sucks. You know I love the Tide. In fact some people might call it an obsession but Tide fans suck sometimes. They’ve got no patience, no forgiveness and not enough understanding of how Baby works.

It’s all about the patience.

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